4 Pillars of Emotional Intelligence

There is a difference between intellectual intelligence (IQ) and emotional intelligence (EQ). EQ is defined as, "the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict."

In today's world where psychopathy is being promoted along with strong business leaders known for their "cut throat" behavior like Bezos and Jobs, it is important to develop EQ to develop and promote a better culture at home, work, school and in life. 

Emotional Intelligence comes naturally to some, but for most, there is hope, it can be a learned trait. EQ is divided into four categories, all of which have its importance on developing a higher or well-developed emotional intelligence. Keep reading to discover more about each pillar. 

Self-Management 

This pillar revolves around emotional self control, specifically impulsive feelings and behaviors. This category needs developed for those who have issues with following through with commitment, taking initiative, and adapting to changing circumstances. Self management also includes transparency, being honest and open and acting with integrity and being trustworthy. Optimism plays a role in self management, which includes hoping for the best and preparing for success. 

Self-Awareness

Having self awareness is understanding your personal strengths and weaknesses along with the ability to process your emotions and how they affect your actions, behaviors and thoughts. Being self aware allows one to know their triggers and discover healthy coping mechanisms to avoid harmful situations. Three main categories of self awareness include emotional self awareness, accurate self assessment and self confidence. Self-confidence doesn't have to be perfect, but to aide in having faith in yourself and to walk in the right direction in life. 

Social Awareness 

Social awareness revolves around empathy and the ability to connect to, understand and acknowledge other people's emotions. This also includes being a good listener and being service or action-orientated to help others or the group. Organizational awareness is lumped in this category to notice how you are being understood in a group situation and/or recognize power dynamics in a group. 

Relationship Management 

Relationship management includes how well one works in a group and the ability to maintain healthy relationships. A high EQ person knows how to communicate clearly, inspire others and assist in healthy conflict management. This also includes developing people in their skills and knowledge as well as being collaborative. 

​People with a higher EQ have developed these four pillars throughout their life. Some maybe stronger in some pillars than others; thus, they are not perfect people but have the ability or mindset for improvement. Most people with a high EQ are known for being warm, likable, easy to reason with and having good social skills. However, just because someone is extroverted doesn't mean they are emotionally intelligent. Our personal projections tend to "agree" or "like" more likable personalities rather than personalities that are cooler. It is important to not judge a book by its cover, but rather look at the EQ and action-orientated ways one develops themselves and others. 

What are your thoughts on emotional intelligence? 
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