Most People Fall in Lust, Not Love: How to Tell the Difference

Are we losing our minds when it comes to matters of the heart? Divorce rates continue to rise. Pornography sites continue to grow in hits. Tinder is the new one-night stand. And many people are in the belief that polyamory is the future because they can’t get all their needs met through one person. 

The hyper connectivity of people, specifically good-looking socially engineered / edited pictures, demonstrates that not only is the internet a land of false fantasies, but it is a make-believe landscape of superficiality that goes against the natural process of love. Now this doesn’t mean that true love can’t exist over the internet, but when judging and selecting people based on a profile, most people choose dates based on lustful feelings. She’s beautiful. He’s handsome. He’s got a nice job. She wears nice clothes. Why not get together?

We must ask ourselves, deep from the heart, are we really headed in the right direction?

As a counselor and coach, I have been fortunate to understand life from a different perspective. Many clients trust me with their deepest, darkest secrets. Many people don't have "bad" intentions, but are blinded by lust coupled with selfishness to fulfill their desires or fantasies (if not consensual for all parties involved). 

People getting involved in other people’s marriages, married couples inviting other people into the bedroom, “single” women praising about their three boyfriends, we should ask ourselves, 

"Where are we going?"

It seems as if confusion pollutes the mind everyday to go against true, pure, authentic and Godly love. Whatever people want to do is fine, but those who’s soul is suffering, one must question if what they are doing is healthy? 

The reality is that we reap what we sew. It is very rare to find true love in a nightclub or through a one-night stand. The seeds you plant eventually grow and harvest.

Do you want to harvest a soul mate? Or a counselor to cry on all your heartaches of being used for sex?

Infatuation is not a new concept to humans. The Romans were the “original” spin doctors and were not shy about sex, brothels and beautiful women. And I believe the Roman empire is repeating itself. 

In this Information Age, people have unlimited access to other people around the globe and the ultra-abundance of corporate money gives people the freedom to experience anything they want in life. Without wisdom, inner strength and a well-defined spirit, people can fall into temptation and corruption. 

This type of lifestyle inspires many to the dark side of love (which is lust). Most don’t get what they need from their partner so they go and discover it with another person. But what you sew you will reap

So what is the difference between lust vs love?

LOVE is
patient and waits
respectful 
unselfish
protective
faithful and upholding
generous
forgiving
soulful / emotional fulfilment 
grows organically
unconditional
​deep affection / spiritual bond

LUST is
impatient and impulsive
violates
self-centered
endangers, or looks to its benefits
disloyal and unfaithful
greedy and selfish
condemns
physical / imaginative
at “first sight”
conditional (I love you if…)
​craving for sexual desires

Love is more spiritual where lust is physical. Love fulfills the mind, body and soul where lust satisfies our animal instincts and desires. Lust is intoxicating and can blind us to the truth. 

Although the money, sex and conversations maybe nice, most people ignore their soul crying inside because lust has become the drug that's consumed all rational and logical decisions.

Ask yourself, "Am I in love with this person? Or am I in lust?" 

True love is Godly. 

God is love. And He wants the best for every person on this planet. Now for that lustful red devil, he wants to keep y'all hooked on drugs, sex and rock-n-roll to trap you from the truth - a soulful, deep connection between two people.  

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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