As the world becomes more chaotic, I’ve been thinking, “Can kindness be a weakness?” If you asked me five to 10 years ago, I would’ve said, “kindness is a strength, not a weakness.”
I’ve been a student of many spiritual practices, from studying yoga in India to becoming a Reiki practitioner, all of which preach peace, love and humanity. Even those who bash Christianity, and think it’s the worst thing on the planet, may not realize that compassion is one of the biggest qualities about, and taught by, Christ. Through egotism and poor leadership, the energy, spirit and warmth of Christianity was corrupted.
In fact, if you look at a picture of Jesus, he looks like a warm-hearted hippie, who wore a flowing white gown, accompanied by some Birkenstocks, beautiful brown hair and a hipster-looking beard.
But I digress.
Most spiritual practices preach kindness. I believe this is how we are naturally created. We are born kind-hearted and taught hatred. Now there are always exceptions to generalizations, but when looking through the lens of a child’s life, most have an innocent view of the world.
Curious, I searched the inter-webs to see what people think about kindness as a weakness. I couldn’t really find much besides, “kindness is a strength, not a weakness,” and “my boss saw my kindness as a weakness.”
So, if you ask me today if I think that kindness CAN be a weakness, I will say yes.
Why is that?
I believe in the power of the stars, and humanity has entered a new dimension and reality. This new age will bring on new enemies, new war, new conflicts and more struggles than we’ve faced in a long time (this lens is coming from an American point of view, where our European ancestors have suffered greatly pre 1989.)
I believe in the early millennial life was stable minus 9/11 and some government corruption. Today, corruption is at an all-time high and our governments are bloated with neo-libs and neo-cons who want to push the globalist agenda to take over the planet. Our media is trash and people’s minds are polluted. Everyone is getting greedy and even spiritual, yoga and vegan businesses are part of this corrupt society.
As a younger female, I was never weak, spiritually strong, but I desired to be liked. Most people, myself at one point in my life included, who haven’t detached from their ego or have a secret desire for external praise, wants to be liked. It’s a natural human instinct and there is nothing wrong with that per say.
However, since we are entering a new age / era, I believe there are many wolves hiding in sheep's clothing. I believe those with bad intentions take advantage of good people because they know they are kind, generous and compassionate. And some of the most vulnerable today are the spiritual and liberal groups.
People who are of the light can attract the dark. Darkness needs energy to grow. And the dark will prey on the light, and keep preying until those people are energetically or spiritually drained. Why do you think orcas prey on baby humpback and grey whales? Because they are tiny and cannot defend themselves.
I understand this mentality because I experienced these problems. During my maturity, I found myself sometimes in bad situations, or ignored my instinct, because I wanted to be kind, or didn’t want to be rude because of cultural perceptions.
Being Too Kind Can Drain Your Energy When You Are Kind to Everyone but Yourself
I see this with a lot with women who are good, kind-hearted people and are monetarily poor. Many of these people give, give, give and give until they are so exhausted that they are emotionally or spiritually depleted. They rarely are, or are not open to receiving because something deep down makes them feels unworthy. These women need to stop expending kindness to everyone and treat their inner world with their kindness. Something inside of them is lacking or they want people to feel happy.
We also see this with young girls who are not ready for sex, but go against their instincts and do it because they hope that the guy will like them. Everyone likes a kind girl right? Yes, but things are different with raging hormonal teenagers. You shouldn't do something that your instincts or intuition is telling you "no," "leave," or "get away."
It's not a bad thing to put yourself first, choose yourself or place personal boundaries. It strengthens our inner-world and character. In fact, many spiritual people I know won't let anyone touch their energy field, say in a Reiki circle. So if they have boundaries on their energy fields, a bleeding heart also needs a boundary.
Money is Energy & Greedy People Want Your Energy
Another friend of mine who is a devout Christian once had this roommate who complained of being bored. As a kind Christian, he bought this roommate a coffee, which led to a TV, which lead to cable and more. Do you see the snowball effect? He finally realized that the roommate took advantage of his kindness.
As a kid, I learned at an early age that loaning money is a big mistake, unless it’s someone you really trust like your family member. My dad’s friend was in need of some cash, again. My father loaned him some money, as he had some life issues, and eventually he disappeared and changed his identity.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
We all want to help people but there must be a personal boundary that we put on our personal resources or spirit. There is a difference between a donation, lending money to a homeless person or donating to charity.
Today, we need to be biologically more instinctual now more than ever. On Youtube there are many fake gurus, who claim they are spiritually sound but just want to push their products. People will believe in their buzz-word ads and false promises, and once again naive, or kind people, who believe that the world is like them, gets caught into a cyclical mess or false hopes. Even in the most liberal city, New York City, a vegan restauranteur, were wanted for theft and tax fraud, of which their restaurant has been rated as one of the best in the city. There are corrupt people in the so called "good" businesses.
Kindness Can Be a Blindness & Block Your Survival Instincts
We’ve entered a new reality and the world is experiencing an increase in crimes. Kindness can block our instincts or inhibit survival through chronic naivety. In September 2016, pressure cooker bombs were found in the Chelsea neighborhood in NYC. I watched a video of this old “grandma” who found the bomb and innocently said, “I thought it was a kid’s high school science experiment.” The red flag or skepticism didn't register.
I lived in Germany for 1.5 years and this country was once a peaceful and quiet nation. Today, terrorism is on the rise. I watched a video of the axe terrorist in Dusseldorf. Someone filmed the video from a train who signaled an emergency response. The terrorist got off the train, with an axe in hand, and the Germans stood there just leisurely strolled a crossed the platform. Since they are not used to extreme crimes, their survival instincts are turned off, still living in "la la land." I've had many disagreements with Germans because they claim "Americans are fearful," but they do not realize that Americans have dealt with countless, heartless crimes including elementary school shootings. We are a bit more pragmatic and realistic that bad people want to harm innocent people.
I listened to a financial podcast the other day where a woman called in asking for financial advice. Her husband rekindled his spirits with an ex-girlfriend, and by the way, the woman's voice on the phone sounded like an angel. She sounded like a good-hearted person. Her husband was doing "sleep overs" at the ex-girlfriends house, though told his wife that "nothing sexual is happening." In the back of this woman's head, she knew she was being cheated on, but had this blind faith that he was being honest. Even the podcast host told her that adults do not do sleepovers with people of the opposite sex. Her kindness was blinding her from the reality that her husband thinks she's "dumb enough," or whatever insults to her intelligence, to believe in this story.
I teared listening to this story because you can hear the love in this woman's voice. She was being energetically, emotionally and spiritually abused, in my opinion.
Most of us, who live a normal life, do not expect the worst from human beings. We assume that the bubble we live in has the same type of people and energy. Like attracts like, right? Yes, but light is the energy that dark needs in order to grow.
Sadly, dark energy is out there and it’s gaining power. Now many people can say, “Oh Elizabeth you’re instilling fear.” Well, I am one of the most spiritual individuals I know, and there is a difference between the fear of moving abroad or writing a book versus being killed by a terrorist.
If wild animals didn’t have fear or survival instincts, they would allow the predator kill them without a chase. They would just stand there, get mauled and eaten alive.
There must be a balance with kindness and giving and receiving. Some of the kindest people chronically give and share (some who are too proud to take anything to show their “strength”). Some of the world’s greediest people always take and never give. We should be kind and help thy neighbor, but not be so naive that we are an exception to the world's cruelty.
Right now, the world can use more kindness, but let’s not be so blind to where life, or people, stabs us in the back.
My "inspired by nature," lifestyle takes lessons from nature and connects them to human behaviors.
Elizabeth Rae Kovar M.A. is Author of her memoir, Finding Om and is a Fitness Trainer, Yogi, Reiki Master, Presenter and Lover of Life. To view her portfolio please visit www.elizabethkovar.com