Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Yesterday I had an interesting experience. I went to teach my LGBT senior yoga class at Century Ballroom in Capitol Hill. A yoga class ended prior to mine and I heard a girl speak with the instructor that she wasn't going home for Thanksgiving because she did not believe in it. Now, many people today in the PACNW have been socially engineered by the social justice media, which some of this stuff has a point but what they don't see, recognize or believe is that the media is making them heartless monsters. Human history has always been bloody, hard and intense. Life today is no different. It's the same story but different characters and locations. But, for one who attends a yoga class, how can you not believe in Thanksgiving? The basis of yoga spiritual theory is to become a more thankful human being. It was the complete opposite of what I experienced where my senior participants tell me weekly how thankful they are for my class, my teachings and my spirit. Putting history aside, it is the one day of the year where we can put life aside and give thanks to everyone and everything on this planet. The Thanksgiving meal itself is the consumption of the earth. The plants. The animals. The grains. All of that has been sacrificed or given for your nourishment. Even the plants are alive. Everything from the earth that is consumed has breath, air or spirit that awakens our souls. This is something our ancestors understood amidst hardships. I live in Seattle, but my hometown is in Cleveland. Several people invited me to Thanksgiving and although I can only attend one event, I am most thankful for people to even think about inviting me somewhere. After the Camino, I walked forward in life and reached a peak level of gratitude. For some odd reason, if death chose me on the camino or say, on the flight away from the Camino, I sat there in utmost gratitude for everything that entered my life. If I died, I would've happily died. I've traveled. I've been married. I've had amazingly good and bad times with family and friends. I've succeeded at work. I've failed at life. I've been in love several times. I've met soul mates. I've experienced unconditional love by my cats. I've been abundant. I've been poor. I've lived out of bag. I've experienced basically everything good, bad and in between. What more do we humans want out of life?
I fight for women, but I also fight for men. I'm an Aquarian so equality is important.
On Tuesday I had a conversation with two men who work the desk and security at the Gates Foundation. We chatted briefly about dating. And they said women are confusing. They said if I buy flowers say yellow roses, she sometimes complains that it's not red. I said get rid of her. She's ungrateful and won't be happy. How do people go through life not aware of the kindness or the thoughts that people do? If one cannot be thankful to receive flowers - how much does their soul need to evolve?
Modern society is decadent that we've lost connection to everything God, the planet and people do for us.
Give thanks on this day to everything that's entered your life, good and bad, and every molecule of nourishment that enters your mouth. From me to you, Happy Thanksgiving.
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It seemed like yesterday that I cooked for the "You Are Enough" Yoga Retreat on Bowen Island in Canada. Some energy shift in September occurred and I believe this retreat was the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
I found peace, calmness and serenity in my life. And to me, cooking is therapeutic. 
The days were long, working from 6am to 9pm, but none of it felt like work. It is amazing when we work with our passion it doesn't feel like work. It's like getting paid for doing something you love. And I love cooking. It's a moment where creativity ignites and the head, heart and hands unite and share some TLC.
There is a reason why people love mom's cooking. Her energy imprints the food and everyone loves mom and her cooking (well most at least). 
While at the retreat, the students experienced yoga in the eco dome while I plugged in ambient music in the kitchen and let the creativity begin. Now waking up at 5am to make pancakes wasn't easy, but enjoyable because the results were well worth it.
For this recipe, I used my Vegan Pumpkin Spiced Pancake recipe but used butternut squash puree instead of pumpkin. At the retreat, I doubled the recipe and made 3-4 inch pancakes instead of the larger ones as seen in the pumpkin pancake recipe.
Both the pumpkin and the butternut squash are sweet, savory and smooth. The subtle spices enhance the flavor of traditional squash, making it a perfect fall and winter treat.
Coupled with the herb butter, this is a breakfast that features full on fall and winter flavors. 
For this recipe, you can use canned butternut squash puree or puree steamed or roasted squash. Regardless of what you choose, both taste great but as a general thumb of rule - fresh is better.
At the retreat, I paired this with agave roasted figs with sage. This would also pair well with myBaked Apple recipe. However you eat it, I guarantee you'll love this recipe. Between the savory butter and the sweetness in the maple syrup, this is a breakfast bursting with flavor and freshness. From me to you, have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and I hope this is part of your holiday brunch menu this fall. 
“Remember God’s bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor. Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude!”
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Vegan Pumpkin Squares
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Vegan Pumpkin Spiced Pancakes
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Winter Kissed Quinoa Salad
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The Camino de Santiago teaches pilgrims countless lessons. When one returns home and rests his or her head on a familiar pillow, it is important to reflect on the lessons learned.
The Camino teaches one to move forward in life, into the new chapter of their life's journey. I am definitely on that mission and during these times we must face the dark or shadow. Life is not always sunshine and glitter, though that is the image we project online.
New chapters may not be easy, but necessary for personal growth and soul evolvement. Whatever action you take you must trust in God that this path is meant for you, whatever the reason and whatever the season. Good, bad or something in between, walking forward is a must in life to break patterns, old mindsets, behaviors and repeating our history.
As always, inspired by the sun,
Elizabeth
Join Mind Body Soul Food Every Sunday for some inspiration, or Sunspiration, where we analyze quotes and sweet nothings in 150 words or less. Get inspired everyday with our Instagram account, sunspiration_everyday with inspirational quotes, motivational messages & sweet nothings.
The Camino teaches one to move forward in life, into the new chapter of their life's journey. I am definitely on that mission and during these times we must face the dark or shadow. Life is not always sunshine and glitter, though that is the image we project online.
New chapters may not be easy, but necessary for personal growth and soul evolvement. Whatever action you take you must trust in God that this path is meant for you, whatever the reason and whatever the season. Good, bad or something in between, walking forward is a must in life to break patterns, old mindsets, behaviors and repeating our history.
As always, inspired by the sun,
Elizabeth
Join Mind Body Soul Food Every Sunday for some inspiration, or Sunspiration, where we analyze quotes and sweet nothings in 150 words or less. Get inspired everyday with our Instagram account, sunspiration_everyday with inspirational quotes, motivational messages & sweet nothings.
Winter is approaching and the season where our bodies crave warm, hearty and healthy foods. Soups and stews are a sign that the cooler months are here and time to nourish the body with whole foods, produce and spices.
Stews differ from soups as they have less liquid and are usually tomato based. This affordable and healthy stew consists of standard produce that is found in any grocery store. It is quick, easy and ready in approximately 30-minutes. Stew pairs well with a lightly toasted baguette with vegan butter.
Vegan Chickpea, Tomato + Kale Stew
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 25-30 minutes
Ingredients:
1.5 tbsp olive oil
1/2 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 white skinned potato, chopped
1 28 oz. can diced tomatoes
1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes with basil + garlic
1 can of chickpeas, drained and washed
4 cups of kale, finely chopped
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp basil
1/8 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp Italian seasoning
pinch of cumin
Directions:
Begin by cooking the garlic and onion with the olive oil for 2-3 minutes. Next, add the potato, and cook for 2 minutes. Add all the remaining ingredients and simmer on low until flavorful or for about 20 more minutes. Serve warm.
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 25-30 minutes
Ingredients:
1.5 tbsp olive oil
1/2 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 white skinned potato, chopped
1 28 oz. can diced tomatoes
1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes with basil + garlic
1 can of chickpeas, drained and washed
4 cups of kale, finely chopped
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp basil
1/8 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp Italian seasoning
pinch of cumin
Directions:
Begin by cooking the garlic and onion with the olive oil for 2-3 minutes. Next, add the potato, and cook for 2 minutes. Add all the remaining ingredients and simmer on low until flavorful or for about 20 more minutes. Serve warm.
I love oranges. It's the one fruit that symbolizes the sun. I spent many hours on the Camino admiring and sitting underneath orange and lemon trees. I don't know why, but something about citrus trees stirs my soul. It's as if my soul knows there is a home and a place under every orange tree.
Citrus is a beloved winter fruit and for years, I've wanted to experiment with upside cakes. This first attempt sold me on idea as well as the flavor. As a lover of nature, I believe in eating foods closet to nature. I left the rind on the orange to reduce food waste as well as to consume the entire orange.
The rind is bitter, but does not taste bad. It is slightly chewy, so if you don't want to deal with the rind, peel the orange prior to layering it on the pan.
The rind is bitter, but does not taste bad. It is slightly chewy, so if you don't want to deal with the rind, peel the orange prior to layering it on the pan.
"Orange strengthens your emotional body, encouraging a general feeling of joy, well-being, and cheerfulness. Orange vibration foods are: oranges, tangerines, apricots, mangoes, peaches and carrots."
-Tae Yun Kim
The aesthetics of an upside cake vary upon your standards. When laying the half-cut oranges, it is important to tightly pack and layer them on the pan. This reduces space and awkward gaps in the batter. Although the slightly oranges will shift once the batter is on top, if you don't want any gaps, fill in any holes with small chunks of oranges around the edges.
The aesthetic I went for was more of a sun + rays shape. Ironically citrus is a winter fruit, a time when the sun is furtherest away from planet earth and daylight is shortest. This winter, I recommend bringing some sun and cheer into your home with this upside down cake.
Note: If you desire more caramelization of the oranges, use up to 1/4 cup of sugar + 1/2 tbsp more of vegan butter.
Note: If you desire more caramelization of the oranges, use up to 1/4 cup of sugar + 1/2 tbsp more of vegan butter.
"Orange is the color of the sun. It is vital and a good color generally, indicating thoughtfulness and
consideration of others."
-Edgar Cayce
Vegan Upside Down Orange Cake
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes
Ingredients:
Topping
1/2 tbsp vegan butter
2-3 tbsp cane sugar (used 2, use 3 for more caramelization)
2 oranges, sliced
Cake
1 cup + 2 tbsp nondairy milk
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1/3 canola oil (or coconut oil, melted)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350-degrees.
Begin by mixing the milk and apple cider vinegar in a bowl and set aside. Next, take a 9-inch round and and grease the entire pan with the vegan butter. Sprinkle the sugar on top of the butter and then layer the sliced oranges in a pattern of your choice.
Combine the remaining wet ingredients + the sugar into the bowl and mix until the sugar dissolves. Mix the dry ingredients into a separate bowl. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and then pour the wet into the dry. Fold the dry into the wet, without over mixing.
Pour the batter on top of the oranges and smooth the top, and fill any holes, with a spatula. Bake for 30 minutes. Let the cake cool off before flipping. Place a plate or a rack on top of the cake pan. Next, flip the cake and slowly remove the 9-inch round pan.
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Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes
Ingredients:
Topping
1/2 tbsp vegan butter
2-3 tbsp cane sugar (used 2, use 3 for more caramelization)
2 oranges, sliced
Cake
1 cup + 2 tbsp nondairy milk
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1/3 canola oil (or coconut oil, melted)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350-degrees.
Begin by mixing the milk and apple cider vinegar in a bowl and set aside. Next, take a 9-inch round and and grease the entire pan with the vegan butter. Sprinkle the sugar on top of the butter and then layer the sliced oranges in a pattern of your choice.
Combine the remaining wet ingredients + the sugar into the bowl and mix until the sugar dissolves. Mix the dry ingredients into a separate bowl. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and then pour the wet into the dry. Fold the dry into the wet, without over mixing.
Pour the batter on top of the oranges and smooth the top, and fill any holes, with a spatula. Bake for 30 minutes. Let the cake cool off before flipping. Place a plate or a rack on top of the cake pan. Next, flip the cake and slowly remove the 9-inch round pan.
Let's Connect! Click the Yum icon to save all MBSF recipes to your Yummly recipe box!
It felt just like yesterday that it was the day I was leaving for this big adventure to push the reset button and to embrace into a new chapter in life. The Camino came and it went. Now today, it is just a memory, just like my pre-trip emotions blog.
Back to the grind. The stress. And everything associated with modern day society. The fighting. The judgement. The taking advantage of others. Life in a village sounds so lovely right now. The more I connected to spirit, Christ and God, the less I want anything to do with people, things, and dramas of this mundane world.
To say the least, assets are welcome, not liabilities. This Camino was more than a reset button. It’s the start to a new chapter in my spiritual and physical life.
Back to the grind. The stress. And everything associated with modern day society. The fighting. The judgement. The taking advantage of others. Life in a village sounds so lovely right now. The more I connected to spirit, Christ and God, the less I want anything to do with people, things, and dramas of this mundane world.
To say the least, assets are welcome, not liabilities. This Camino was more than a reset button. It’s the start to a new chapter in my spiritual and physical life.
I’ve exited the Camino with brand new eyes, one that looks at my history and others so differently. Darkness plagues so many people’s minds and moral compass. People think they are being healed but yet led like the pied piper away from true, Godly spirit. It’s like a dangling carrot or a crown of jewels blinding many people to the truth.
And for some reason, we are all on our own path to find our way.
And a piece of the Camino is here and within me. The spirit. The vineyards. The cat down the road. Every local, pilgrim, animal and blade of grass is within me. Like a ripple effect, their spirit has affected my spirit. And my spirit will affect others.
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The stress and worries of today have snapped me back into reality, realizing the fantasy world of life on the Camino is gone, but not forgotten. Coming back to the same life as I had before feels refreshing though I’ve let go of any fear-based mindsets. It’s as if nothing changed, but everything changed simultaneously.
Interestingly enough, this has been the start to a new chapter in my life in a myriad of ways.
I’ve slowly let go of things, people and places that no longer serve me, but now that desire is even stronger. Just like I did at 22 after India, I chose to walk away from people and activities that had different morals and values as myself. And today, I have to choose the same.
Reconnecting with my Christian roots, the belief in this faith system has grounded me the most out of all forms of spirituality. The ancient roots are as old as some of the grains of sand on the beach.
I have less of a desire to connect with people whose moral compass doesn’t match with mine, regardless of if they believe in God or not. Parasites, energy suckers, emotionally draining individuals – I must say goodbye and move forward into another realm of life. “Cleaning house” literally and metaphorically is an instinct that came on strong during my walk.
Reconnecting with my Christian roots, the belief in this faith system has grounded me the most out of all forms of spirituality. The ancient roots are as old as some of the grains of sand on the beach.
I have less of a desire to connect with people whose moral compass doesn’t match with mine, regardless of if they believe in God or not. Parasites, energy suckers, emotionally draining individuals – I must say goodbye and move forward into another realm of life. “Cleaning house” literally and metaphorically is an instinct that came on strong during my walk.
That can be tough for me because of my empathy and work as a health coach / trainer. I believe everyone in life is on their own path of evolvement and those who enter our life, even for a moment, somehow have an effect on other people. The hope is that we all learn and grow from each other. But, many people walk through life blinded, only seeing the reality in front of their two feet, thinking that the world revolves around them. It’s as if they are their own Sun God.
I’ve realized I can accept people, but I am the sole provider for my emotional wellbeing. I have the choice to let people in, and let people go. This was something my ex was excellent at. He had no problems cutting people out of his life. For me, it’s not that easy because of empathy.
But, it’s time.
I’ve realized I can accept people, but I am the sole provider for my emotional wellbeing. I have the choice to let people in, and let people go. This was something my ex was excellent at. He had no problems cutting people out of his life. For me, it’s not that easy because of empathy.
But, it’s time.
Just like nature, things must die in order for the new to enter your life. Walking the Camino during fall season was so symbolic for my struggles, life and former marriage.
But the most important “thing” I let go of is doubt and fear. Before the Camino I feared never meeting a life partner. I feared my blossoming grey hair. I feared being too old to date for a guy who is 31 or 32. I feared being broke and not being able to pay my rent because of my temporary lay off. I let go of fear and clung onto hope – hoping that God has a plan for me.
And throughout the journey the light continuously shined down on me.
Because I consider myself an accepting person, I accept my life, my fate and my destiny. I accept that my experience in marriage, may have been for those 6.5 years, and I may never see another in my life of being married or being a wife.
Life has no guarantees. And no one knows when their end day will be here. The Camino strengthened this form of acceptance. I don’t know my future, none of us do. That is what makes life bitter sweet. Not knowing the future is as exciting as it is worrisome.
Sometimes I wish a crystal ball would show me the future, that way the stress and worry would stop to enjoy the moment. If everything is predetermined than knowing I’d have this at X age, or get married on this date, then it’d be easier not to stress, put up with or worry about the breadcrumbs in life.
But until that (hopefully) magical moment of the future arrives, I can only attach to hope that all things will work out in divine timing. On the 11th hour on 11/11/18, I attended a mass in Seattle. Attending mass on the Camino seemed normal. It once felt odd and estranged, but now it felt “normal.” It did not weird me out, but rather I looked at mass through a new set of eyes. One that appreciates and respects this ancient spiritual faith.
The Camino brought me back into the present the moment, knowing that my actions coupled with fate can tweak my destiny. The strength, courage, wisdom, light and love accumulated on the Camino is now a part of me and will forever be with me.
And throughout the journey the light continuously shined down on me.
Because I consider myself an accepting person, I accept my life, my fate and my destiny. I accept that my experience in marriage, may have been for those 6.5 years, and I may never see another in my life of being married or being a wife.
Life has no guarantees. And no one knows when their end day will be here. The Camino strengthened this form of acceptance. I don’t know my future, none of us do. That is what makes life bitter sweet. Not knowing the future is as exciting as it is worrisome.
Sometimes I wish a crystal ball would show me the future, that way the stress and worry would stop to enjoy the moment. If everything is predetermined than knowing I’d have this at X age, or get married on this date, then it’d be easier not to stress, put up with or worry about the breadcrumbs in life.
But until that (hopefully) magical moment of the future arrives, I can only attach to hope that all things will work out in divine timing. On the 11th hour on 11/11/18, I attended a mass in Seattle. Attending mass on the Camino seemed normal. It once felt odd and estranged, but now it felt “normal.” It did not weird me out, but rather I looked at mass through a new set of eyes. One that appreciates and respects this ancient spiritual faith.
The Camino brought me back into the present the moment, knowing that my actions coupled with fate can tweak my destiny. The strength, courage, wisdom, light and love accumulated on the Camino is now a part of me and will forever be with me.
Que sera sera – whatever will be will be. The future is not ours to see, que sera sera.
Although I invoke emotions into my writing and videos, this doesn't mean I am sad. In a world of superficiality, it is important to express and expose the processing of emotions. This encourages others to do the same in their journey throughout life.
Discover more about my Camino journey on
my Youtube Channel.
Happy 11/11 - a portal for manifestation and new beginnings. I returned home on November 8, 2018 from my Camino de Santiago Portuguese Way trip. I not only felt the shift on the camino, but returning back to America, I realized that the Camino initiated a new journey. A new life. A new identity. A new love with God and Christ.
It is not easy admitting this on the west coast as people think you are insane, but at this point the Camino built up enough strength so I do not care what people think. It's built up some "I don't care" that if people judge me enough to not want to be my friend anymore because of the direction of purity I am choosing, then so be it.
Like the camino, you cannot walk backwards, only forward. When you let things go of the past you organically flow into the present moment of today and into the next chapter of your life.
As always, inspired by the sun,
Elizabeth
Join Mind Body Soul Food Every Sunday for some inspiration, or Sunspiration, where we analyze quotes and sweet nothings in 150 words or less. Get inspired everyday with our Instagram account, sunspiration_everyday with inspirational quotes, motivational messages & sweet nothings.
It is not easy admitting this on the west coast as people think you are insane, but at this point the Camino built up enough strength so I do not care what people think. It's built up some "I don't care" that if people judge me enough to not want to be my friend anymore because of the direction of purity I am choosing, then so be it.
Like the camino, you cannot walk backwards, only forward. When you let things go of the past you organically flow into the present moment of today and into the next chapter of your life.
As always, inspired by the sun,
Elizabeth
Join Mind Body Soul Food Every Sunday for some inspiration, or Sunspiration, where we analyze quotes and sweet nothings in 150 words or less. Get inspired everyday with our Instagram account, sunspiration_everyday with inspirational quotes, motivational messages & sweet nothings.
Recently there’s been something of a movement concerning athletes and personal wellness. Usually if we grouped those things together we’d be talking about fitness, and what it takes to be as healthy physically as a professional athlete. In this case though it’s actually more about mental health and medical care. The last year has seen numerous incredible athletes either speaking out directly or otherwise letting us know that they too can suffer from mental health issues or serious maladies. And knowing that such seemingly immortal people have these struggles can be comforting, and can also motivate you to address any similar issues that may be troubling you.
These are some of the athletes who have spoke out.
These are some of the athletes who have spoke out.
Kevin Love
In May of this year, NBA star Kevin Love wrote a piece for The Players’ Tribune in which he started off by opening up about a panic attack. In the same piece he touched on problems with our concept of masculinity, discussed how he used to think mental health was “somebody else’s problem,” and ultimately posit that mental health is “an everyone thing.” It was a fascinating article that generated a lot of attention and, frankly, a very brave step forward for someone in Love’s position. The article demonstrated a person who’s struggled opening up when many of his peers may never have done so, and we can say now that it sparked a fairly broad discussion about mental health in professional athletes - which, in turn, will hopefully allow many others who emulate these figures to feel more comfortable discussing their own struggles in this area.
Michael Phelps
It’s hard to imagine a figure less in need of help than Michael Phelps, at least on the outside. Phelps is a young man with historic accomplishments already behind him and a world of opportunity at his fingertips. He’s won 23 Olympic gold medals (an all-time record), and it’s said that his prowess in the pool is matched by his skills at the poker table, which is a place that rewards confidence to some degree. Phelps seems to have it all, and we, the people of the world, have essentially never seen him fail or even struggle. And this made it all the more impactful when he, like Love, opened up about his struggle with mental health and launched his own campaign of sorts to assist with Talkspace - a program that provides online therapy to people struggling with depression and other issues.
Serena Williams
Serena Williams’s place in this discussion is a little bit different. The greatest player in WTP history quite clearly supports all people’s rights not just to health but to wellness, and it’s evidenced in many of the things she does and says. However, her own health issues resulting from the birth of her first daughter have shed a light on a different aspect of wellness. As an article at Vox put it rather bluntly but correctly, black women are often dismissed or ignored by physicians, and Williams highlighted this fact by diagnosing her own embolism after her pregnancy. By opening up about what has to have been a traumatic time for her, Williams has essentially made the world aware of this problem, as well as the value of advocating for your own health and wellness in general.
Brandon Marshall
Brandon Marshall was a star NFL wide receiver for years, and deserves a lot of credit for being one of the first modern athletes to speak up about mental health, a few years ago now. He opened up about his own struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder a few years ago, and has since spoken with NFL owners about the importance of recognizing mental illness and even joined Love in penning his own Players’ Tribune piece. While Marshall is still an active football player, he’s a man who has clearly made it a personal mission to help those who may struggle with mental illness and not know where to turn.
This was a guest blog post, and mindbodysoul-food.com has approved to publish this article.
This was a guest blog post, and mindbodysoul-food.com has approved to publish this article.
I leave in four days with feelings of pure exhaustion, excitement and confusion. Life is Seattle is getting so expensive, I have no choice but to consistently work in order to sustain a simple life in this city. And that is no easy task for myself and many other females who earn "Middle America" peasant salaries amidst a tech-dominant world.
I planned this trip in early September and with only six weeks to train, I have had no aches or pains, no blisters, a little bit of soreness at first, but now I am not even getting sore. I am "addicted" to carrying that bag, or that load on my back. Even with my bag loaded, I walk to the grocery store to add another 6-8 pounds to my bag - there is absolutely zero affect on my back or my legs.
During some walks, I feel God speak to me that this is not a physical journey, but an emotional and spiritual journey into my mind, body and soul.
Walking around Seattle in fall is stunning. Flowers still bloom while the trees change color. The foliage encourages the blossoming of the true color of my soul. As I watch the leaves fall, it is the time and a sign to let go. Let go of the things that no longer serve me.
​But with every footstep around this city I recognize the natural death and rebirth process. While God chooses every leaf that falls off a tree, I notice figs still bloom on a tree. Part of human existence includes letting go, and rebuilding up. Our human bodies are no different than nature where we have this synergy between anabolism and catabolism.
Ever since living in Germany, I've become more fascinated with the forest. Naturally attracted to water, I've transitioned from the light and airy sun-worshipping beaches and entered the depths of my ancient soul amidst archaic trees.
The thing is, I am actually doing good and fine in my life right. Im exhausted from work, but that is okay. Once I booked this trip, I found much peace in my life. My attitude changed and my outlook on life became brighter. I processed my divorced and in the spring I was ready to move forward with my life. I am very accepting of people and their life choices and lifestyle.
​I understand that people enter our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When my ex-husband told me on October 18, 2017 that he wanted a divorce, my entire reality shifted. I just got back from a trip in Germany and for some reason during that trip I hit the upmost pivotal gratitude for that man and my marriage. I was ready for the next thing, which I thought would be to have a child. There was miscommunication on that very important topic.
As he told me this, I started saying, "No. No. No. You need to believe in me." While we both started crying, I had a psychic vision of a hand holding a rolled-up diploma in the air with graduation hats flying into the air. My intuition doesn't hear things much, but I had a voice inside my head say, "You got it. You graduated. You learned your lesson." My laptop died and for 17 days I sat in silence, realizing how intellectual and work-orientated we were, and partly my fault, didn't tap much into the emotional world. I looked in the mirror and expressed all of my faults and admitted everything I did wrong or took for granted.
Completely crushed, I knew it was me fighting against God or our soul's contract. I was on a sinking ship and I looked him in the eyes and told him that I am going to fight for him. And I did that. I wrote several novel-like letters. One 17 pages, a 33-page hand written book on our memories together, and another 7 page plea expressing how I changed.
None of it worked. I went home for Thanksgiving and cried at the lake near my parent's home. I sat on a log in the forest wanting to die. I googled every Christian prayer to save a marriage. And each time I did these things, our connection became more disconnected. He started dating someone. He cut me off social media. He cut my family off social media. He completely detached his life from any memories of 10 years together. He told me that everyday I treated him good, with kindness and respect. On some deeper subconscious, intuitive level he told me that he chose me, but I didn't choose him.
​I accepted my fate. Being the one left behind, especially blind sided can really fuck you up unless you have enough grounding and acceptance in life. It is very easy as a woman to deny a man's feelings or needs. Men are strong on the exterior, but inside sometimes I feel they are more sensitive and emotional than women. Inside every man is a little boy.
I needed to get out but I couldn't as I had to scramble to figure out my job situation. In January, I earned just under $2,000 and my rent is just under $1600. I almost impulsively moved to Chicago or Philadelphia, in hopes of starting a new life, and in the future, finding a more traditional man.
I processed, I grieved, I forgave. I realized I am just another example of a tragic love story in this world of human existence.
I needed to do something for myself, which is why the St. James has been chosen, but at the right time.
Actually, I am over my divorce, but what I am still attached to is the fear of not finding a life partner or someone who treats me well. My ex was a romantic man, and I took that for granted at times. Never again will I do that. But on the flip side, that man also took me for granted, for which I shut down emotionally. We were both selfless, selfish, loving, caring and ignorant to each other. We were both suffering in flighty Seattle after living in Germany where loyalty, honesty and integrity were a large part of their culture. The main issue was not communicating feelings in order to protect each other's emotions.
Divorce ignited all these fears in college and wounds of being absolutely shitted on and used by men. Men are logical. Most women are moral. It is very easy to take advantage of spiritually-based women who can be naive.
I've been the weekend girlfriend. I've been the friend with benefits. I've been used emotionally. I've been lied to. I've been used for the adventurous experience. Women can be horrible people too, but after conversations with my beta male friends. It's the nice people who always get shitted on - man or woman.
But through the turmoil of my confidence and soul being flushed down the toilet, I rediscovered a deeper connection to self love. My life is best operated with balance. I like how I balance the material and the spiritual world. I like how I appreciate a balance between arts, science and athletics. I like that I am straightforward. I like that I am modest, but also creative and free spirited. I like how I am a cheerleader, encouraging my partner to become the man he wants to be, balancing healthy degrees of freedom. I love myself. I love my flaws. I love my strengths.
I planned this trip in early September and with only six weeks to train, I have had no aches or pains, no blisters, a little bit of soreness at first, but now I am not even getting sore. I am "addicted" to carrying that bag, or that load on my back. Even with my bag loaded, I walk to the grocery store to add another 6-8 pounds to my bag - there is absolutely zero affect on my back or my legs.
During some walks, I feel God speak to me that this is not a physical journey, but an emotional and spiritual journey into my mind, body and soul.
Walking around Seattle in fall is stunning. Flowers still bloom while the trees change color. The foliage encourages the blossoming of the true color of my soul. As I watch the leaves fall, it is the time and a sign to let go. Let go of the things that no longer serve me.
​But with every footstep around this city I recognize the natural death and rebirth process. While God chooses every leaf that falls off a tree, I notice figs still bloom on a tree. Part of human existence includes letting go, and rebuilding up. Our human bodies are no different than nature where we have this synergy between anabolism and catabolism.
Ever since living in Germany, I've become more fascinated with the forest. Naturally attracted to water, I've transitioned from the light and airy sun-worshipping beaches and entered the depths of my ancient soul amidst archaic trees.
The thing is, I am actually doing good and fine in my life right. Im exhausted from work, but that is okay. Once I booked this trip, I found much peace in my life. My attitude changed and my outlook on life became brighter. I processed my divorced and in the spring I was ready to move forward with my life. I am very accepting of people and their life choices and lifestyle.
​I understand that people enter our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When my ex-husband told me on October 18, 2017 that he wanted a divorce, my entire reality shifted. I just got back from a trip in Germany and for some reason during that trip I hit the upmost pivotal gratitude for that man and my marriage. I was ready for the next thing, which I thought would be to have a child. There was miscommunication on that very important topic.
As he told me this, I started saying, "No. No. No. You need to believe in me." While we both started crying, I had a psychic vision of a hand holding a rolled-up diploma in the air with graduation hats flying into the air. My intuition doesn't hear things much, but I had a voice inside my head say, "You got it. You graduated. You learned your lesson." My laptop died and for 17 days I sat in silence, realizing how intellectual and work-orientated we were, and partly my fault, didn't tap much into the emotional world. I looked in the mirror and expressed all of my faults and admitted everything I did wrong or took for granted.
Completely crushed, I knew it was me fighting against God or our soul's contract. I was on a sinking ship and I looked him in the eyes and told him that I am going to fight for him. And I did that. I wrote several novel-like letters. One 17 pages, a 33-page hand written book on our memories together, and another 7 page plea expressing how I changed.
None of it worked. I went home for Thanksgiving and cried at the lake near my parent's home. I sat on a log in the forest wanting to die. I googled every Christian prayer to save a marriage. And each time I did these things, our connection became more disconnected. He started dating someone. He cut me off social media. He cut my family off social media. He completely detached his life from any memories of 10 years together. He told me that everyday I treated him good, with kindness and respect. On some deeper subconscious, intuitive level he told me that he chose me, but I didn't choose him.
​I accepted my fate. Being the one left behind, especially blind sided can really fuck you up unless you have enough grounding and acceptance in life. It is very easy as a woman to deny a man's feelings or needs. Men are strong on the exterior, but inside sometimes I feel they are more sensitive and emotional than women. Inside every man is a little boy.
I needed to get out but I couldn't as I had to scramble to figure out my job situation. In January, I earned just under $2,000 and my rent is just under $1600. I almost impulsively moved to Chicago or Philadelphia, in hopes of starting a new life, and in the future, finding a more traditional man.
I processed, I grieved, I forgave. I realized I am just another example of a tragic love story in this world of human existence.
I needed to do something for myself, which is why the St. James has been chosen, but at the right time.
Actually, I am over my divorce, but what I am still attached to is the fear of not finding a life partner or someone who treats me well. My ex was a romantic man, and I took that for granted at times. Never again will I do that. But on the flip side, that man also took me for granted, for which I shut down emotionally. We were both selfless, selfish, loving, caring and ignorant to each other. We were both suffering in flighty Seattle after living in Germany where loyalty, honesty and integrity were a large part of their culture. The main issue was not communicating feelings in order to protect each other's emotions.
Divorce ignited all these fears in college and wounds of being absolutely shitted on and used by men. Men are logical. Most women are moral. It is very easy to take advantage of spiritually-based women who can be naive.
I've been the weekend girlfriend. I've been the friend with benefits. I've been used emotionally. I've been lied to. I've been used for the adventurous experience. Women can be horrible people too, but after conversations with my beta male friends. It's the nice people who always get shitted on - man or woman.
But through the turmoil of my confidence and soul being flushed down the toilet, I rediscovered a deeper connection to self love. My life is best operated with balance. I like how I balance the material and the spiritual world. I like how I appreciate a balance between arts, science and athletics. I like that I am straightforward. I like that I am modest, but also creative and free spirited. I like how I am a cheerleader, encouraging my partner to become the man he wants to be, balancing healthy degrees of freedom. I love myself. I love my flaws. I love my strengths.
Maybe my soul is too vintage for this modern day world. During my divorce, I had a swarm of Christians enter my life. They helped me. They encouraged me. They told me this is not happening to you, but for you. I was on the verge of re-identifying with my Christian roots and this push further helped me. My father is dating a devout Christian woman. She told me it'll be okay, that you can't see the future, but God has a plan for you.
My 2018 has been nothing but breadcrumbs and false hopes all while getting beaten over the head by men. The lies. The emotional manipulation. The flakiness. I needed a break. I lost my marriage. I've lost my mind with the corruption of the divorce court where I believe in equality for both partners. I've lost important freelance work. I fractured my toe. I've been ghosted. I can't seem to get a full-time job in one of the most prosperous cities. I haven't even mildly dated, only meeting people naturally, to find out these guys either had girlfriends, open relationships or used me for emotional support while they get sexual pleasures from whatever dark shit they dabble in with multiple pleasures. I've always been suspicious of the tech industry and the programming that happens in these men's brains have completely destroyed their reality of what women want. Women don't want to be texted like a bar slut and they don't want be treated like a real world porn star. Even my gay Italian friend said straight men are "dumb," and don't realize women don't want to be texted this dirty stuff (in the initial stages).
Modern men today are cowards, and part of this is socially engineered. Women respect strong and honest men. They ghost as they are too afraid to hurt someone's feelings. They are too selfish to be upfront about what they are looking for and will lie and manipulate to get you into the sack, or boast about your beauty behind their girlfriend's back. They can't ask a woman out on a date as they fear rejection. That is just part of being a man. If you want to date a feminine woman you have to take the lead.
All of my friends told me to download a dating app and get laid. I felt I had healthy coping mechanisms of rediscovering myself through counseling, rock climbing and various types of yoga. Somehow my mind is stronger than my body and I can resist all forms of temptations.
Work has taken over our souls and relationships are either of convenience or whatever can fit into our work week. Many men in this city have like 4-6 side options figuring out who will be the winner. I've counseled sex addicts and they have dreams of epic sex parties or being choked during sex. I can't understand this mentality, but I do not judge it. Throughout my spiritual experience I believe darkness warps people's minds causing them to become further lost souls. I believe God sends those people to me for me to give them an ounce of light in their life.
My brain operates on purity, innocence and depth. I dream of fairy-tale-like romance like a nice dance around the Christmas tree to classical music. Or having a picnic on a nice summer's day while reading poetry from some 1922 vintage book. I also enjoy the non-refined frolics of life like drinking beer and watching sports.
I feel I have no relevance to life today. And on this walk, I want to let go of that belief. I believe there are people like me in this world. We are the minority, but through God's will, we will find each other. Whatever happens on this journey is meant for me, but it is a reset button. A button coming a year in, and although I wanted to do this 7 months ago, somehow timing always works best in life when it's meant to be.
My 2018 has been nothing but breadcrumbs and false hopes all while getting beaten over the head by men. The lies. The emotional manipulation. The flakiness. I needed a break. I lost my marriage. I've lost my mind with the corruption of the divorce court where I believe in equality for both partners. I've lost important freelance work. I fractured my toe. I've been ghosted. I can't seem to get a full-time job in one of the most prosperous cities. I haven't even mildly dated, only meeting people naturally, to find out these guys either had girlfriends, open relationships or used me for emotional support while they get sexual pleasures from whatever dark shit they dabble in with multiple pleasures. I've always been suspicious of the tech industry and the programming that happens in these men's brains have completely destroyed their reality of what women want. Women don't want to be texted like a bar slut and they don't want be treated like a real world porn star. Even my gay Italian friend said straight men are "dumb," and don't realize women don't want to be texted this dirty stuff (in the initial stages).
Modern men today are cowards, and part of this is socially engineered. Women respect strong and honest men. They ghost as they are too afraid to hurt someone's feelings. They are too selfish to be upfront about what they are looking for and will lie and manipulate to get you into the sack, or boast about your beauty behind their girlfriend's back. They can't ask a woman out on a date as they fear rejection. That is just part of being a man. If you want to date a feminine woman you have to take the lead.
All of my friends told me to download a dating app and get laid. I felt I had healthy coping mechanisms of rediscovering myself through counseling, rock climbing and various types of yoga. Somehow my mind is stronger than my body and I can resist all forms of temptations.
Work has taken over our souls and relationships are either of convenience or whatever can fit into our work week. Many men in this city have like 4-6 side options figuring out who will be the winner. I've counseled sex addicts and they have dreams of epic sex parties or being choked during sex. I can't understand this mentality, but I do not judge it. Throughout my spiritual experience I believe darkness warps people's minds causing them to become further lost souls. I believe God sends those people to me for me to give them an ounce of light in their life.
My brain operates on purity, innocence and depth. I dream of fairy-tale-like romance like a nice dance around the Christmas tree to classical music. Or having a picnic on a nice summer's day while reading poetry from some 1922 vintage book. I also enjoy the non-refined frolics of life like drinking beer and watching sports.
I feel I have no relevance to life today. And on this walk, I want to let go of that belief. I believe there are people like me in this world. We are the minority, but through God's will, we will find each other. Whatever happens on this journey is meant for me, but it is a reset button. A button coming a year in, and although I wanted to do this 7 months ago, somehow timing always works best in life when it's meant to be.
Author
Elizabeth Rae Kovar M.A. is Author of her memoir, Finding Om and is a Fitness Trainer, Yogi, Reiki Master, Presenter and Lover of Life. To view her portfolio please visit www.elizabethkovar.com
Follow her travels at: lemontreetravel.com
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